I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
