whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
