maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
