ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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