So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
