i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
