epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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