I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize