Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
