and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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