Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sorry about my life...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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