I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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