xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
