Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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