Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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