Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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