ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
