I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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