party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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