i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
