does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
