I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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