Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
