I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
