Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I am available for nakedness
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
