So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
