You're my little dorito
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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