just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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