i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
