get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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