My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
