I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
