I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
