69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
