whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just want nice things and good sex
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
