You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
