told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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