Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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