i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
