Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
