I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
