It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
