I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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