Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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