if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
