hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
