She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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