I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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