Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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