Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
