am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
